This funny poem was written after having enough of being treated rudely by telephone receptionists.  Warning, contains some swearing!……..

‘All I really want is for you to be polite.

Is that too much to ask for?

Surely it’s my god-given right!!


To be spoken to nicely,

I’m not asking for much.

So get off your high horse,

You can all go and get stuffed!!!


With each and every phone call,

I know what mood you’ll be in.

Shit I’d hate to be you:

Always grumpy, never helpful,

Making things harder than they have to be.


Why do I bother, bother trying to be nice?

When all I get in return is nothing by spite.

Shit, you’re all miserable–a miserable bloody lot!

It’s a wonder you’ve got a job,

When your tempers run so hot!!


What have I done to deserve such shit from you?

Can’t you answer me nicely?

Really, it’s not that hard to do!!


I wonder what would happen if you started talking nicely?

I think I’d die of shock, and my boss wouldn’t cope without me.


I don’t understand why you are so bloody rude.

You’re in the wrong profession, you put me in a bad mood.


To ring you is no joy—I dread the very thought,

of someone talking to me, like I am worth naught.


I will not lower myself to your level of rudeness.

I may be a bad-arse bitch on the mic, but at least I’m not ruthless.


To all you MRBs,

It’s a wonder you haven’t been fired.

Your negativity drains me.

Really, it makes me feel tired.


I will not waste my energy being grumpy like you.

So go and get stuffed, just do what you’re employed to do.’


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